February: The month of love. When most people think of love, they think of relationships and all the dynamics of being in love. They feel that their life would be perfect or they would be happy if only they could find a partner. In seeking love through relationships, people often neglect the most important type of love, self-love.
Society has conditioned us to experience love through the way a partner makes us feel. We want our hearts to be pried open because that’s what we see in movies and read in books, that special feeling we all long for. Relying on another to unlock our hearts often puts us in victim-mode. We then start to live life through their wishes and dreams instead of our own. Your life becomes centered on constantly pleasing your partner, and as a result, you become angry and resentful towards that person. This is because you are living life through their wishes and dreams instead of our own and neglecting yourself.
When we acknowledge and embody the worth of self, we gain the courage and internal resources to master our limitations and transmute emotional pain. Self-love teaches us to accept ourselves and take actions that help us grow psychologically and spiritually. It has taken me years to learn this lesson. I have gone from a failed marriage and lacking confidence in myself to slowly becoming a stronger, happier, fulfilled person. With self-love, the world becomes a different place, and often, a healthier, more fulfilling relationship will follow.
Start learning to love yourself by taking baby steps. Physical appearance is often easy to focus on. Ask yourself how you feel about the way you’re dressed and how you wear your hair. Begin dressing in a way that makes you feel good about your appearance. Dress to impress yourself and not what others think. Next learn to value what you have to offer to the world. We all hold gifts and talents. You can open up your gifts and talents by doing what you love and what makes you happy. This will naturally build self-confidence and improve self-esteem.
Another thing you can do is learn to be your best cheerleader. Cut out negative self talk and replace these thoughts with positive ones. Congratulate or compliment yourself each day. Do not concern yourself with people who don’t like you and stop comparing yourself to others.
Lastly, connect to the gem inside you. We are all beautiful beings that have so much to offer if we allow ourselves to open up to be seen by others for who we truly are. Do not hide yourself to satisfy others or feel like you do not want to offend anyone by outshining them. Step into the spotlight. Remember that your opinions matter: you matter. Know it is so important for you to just be you, always and to love that person.
New Jersey –– USA